Self

I Give Endless Chances, Until You Do Me Dirty

Photo: Dusan Petkovic / Shutterstock
woman judging a man

By Emma Spear

There’s a quote I found recently that really speaks volumes. It reads: “Do me good, and I’ll do you better. Do me bad and I won’t even do you worse. Enjoy my absence, though.”

It made me open my eyes.

I’m a kind person. If you ask anyone, I can guarantee that’s how they describe me. I’m kind, I’ll do anything for you, and you can always find a friend within me.

While that is true, it’s true until you do me dirty.

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See, the thing with me — and I think this is something all kind people deal with — is that people abuse your kindness. Because we’re kind, and we put others before ourselves, people automatically think, “Oh, they’re nice. They’re not going to mind or say anything because they don’t have a backbone.”

People think we’re pushovers, but that is the furthest thing from the truth.

To a degree, you should fear a kind person because it’s terrifying when they snap.

That’s because kind people are selfless, and give until they can’t give anymore. They will go and go until you run them dry, and when you do, you’ll see them snap.

And if you’re a kind person, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

It is a different type of rage than most people show. We’ll go silent, then burst. If you’re the one in the room, you better get out of that person’s way because there’s a chance they’ll kill someone.

Our kindness is loud, but our anger is louder. We feel everything. We show so many emotions, and care so much for others that people tend to forget it’s same thing with anger.

I had an issue come up a few months ago when a “friend” decided to put information about me out on social media, information that was none of their damn business to discuss online. I remember staring at my phone and wanting to strangle this person.

“How dare they? Putting MY personal information out for the world to see. What type of person does that?”

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I had so many comments rushing through my head of what I could say in response to this person, and I wanted to scream at them. Instead, I deleted the comment and blocked the person.

If you want to start drama with my life, then you are no longer going to be a part of it. Simple as that.

I was talking to a friend after it happened and I vividly remember saying, “They lost any respect I had for them. I’m done.” And I realized that for me, the worst thing I will do to someone is no longer hold respect toward them.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still be cordial with you, but that doesn’t mean anything. Me being nice to you doesn’t mean I like you.

I can’t be mean. It’s not in me, no matter how mad you make me. I won’t spread rumors about you, I won’t write vague posts about you on social media. I’ll just disappear from your life and you’ll never hear a word from me again.

That’s when you need to be worried, and you need to realize how much you messed up.

Kind people give many chances, and if you use up all those chances, something’s not right. That person learns their lesson, and they’re not coming back.

You’ll have to live with the fact that you lost them because of your inconsiderate actions. It’s a big slap in the face. And, let’s be real, you 100% deserve it. Enjoy the silence.

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Emma Spear is a student, paraeducator, writer, and contributor to Unwritten. She has a passion for writing about mental health, self-care, and education.

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This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.