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Woman Seeks Advice After Fiance Says She’s ‘Limiting His Potential’ By Asking Him To Contribute Financially

Ahead of her upcoming wedding, a woman and her fiance have been having numerous discussions about their finances which have brought on some disagreements.

Taking to Slate’s money advice column, “Pay Dirt,” the concerned bride-to-be has been with her partner for over 10 years and money has been an issue in the past but now, as they prepare to settle down together, they are running into trouble. 

Her fiance is unwilling to contribute to their finances.

The woman explained that they have not always been wise when it comes to dealing with money and have run into some problems.

“We both got into credit card debt and had them go to collections where we didn’t pay the full amount,” the woman wrote.

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However, that was ten years ago and the couple is financially stable now. Despite that experience, the two learned different things from it.

The woman explained, “I have been diligent about not getting into credit card debt unless it’s an absolute emergency. My boyfriend, however, sees credit cards going to collections as a legitimate way to get out of debt if necessary.”

Additionally, both of them dislike their daily jobs and have taken a break to potentially start a new business. Unlike her partner, the woman has saved a lot of money and has a legitimate plan.

“We disagree on how to deal with the potential financial instability that comes with pursuing new businesses. I think he should be required to contribute a minimum amount to our monthly bills no matter what,” the woman added.

She also came up with a plan where he could pay the monthly bills and pursue his business activities.

However, the man refused to contribute and felt the woman was limiting his potential.

“He says we can always cut back on extra expenses and that I should be willing to make sacrifices to help him grow his business,” the woman continued.

“He doesn’t seem to realize that all the sacrifices we would be making would be on my end and he would basically be sacrificing nothing.”

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The woman came up with a minimum amount to contribute to their monthly bills which wouldn’t hinder their current lifestyle but her fiance still refused. 

‘Pay Dirt’ advise the woman to find a way to solve this problem before getting married.

The column claimed that many marriages end because of financial matters so, it’s wise to figure out a way for money problems before getting married.

“I wouldn’t move any further toward living with each other until you ask yourself a few questions. One, are you set on him contributing a fixed amount every month, or would you be open to splitting bills dependent on how much you both make?” the column read.

“Would you be open to each of you paying a certain percentage based on your income? Should he aim to pay his bills ahead of time in case his income does dry up?”

It also mentioned that since her fiance has already expressed that he doesn’t want to pay bills because of his business, he might do it again in the future if his business suffers a loss.

If talking about this doesn’t work, the column also advised going to pre-marital counseling.

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Sanika Nalgirkar is a News & Entertainment Writer for YourTango. She has a master's degree in Creative Writing. See more of her writing on her website.

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