Narcissist, I Forgot To Tell You Something

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man smoking cigar in city

I haven’t left you yet.

Don’t think it’s simply because I love you. It’s because I still believe you love me back. I am hopelessly unaware your heart doesn’t hold mine.

That it can’t attach itself to me.

I don’t understand I am something you acquired along the way.

I think I am your girl, your love, your very best friend.

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I think you can’t live without me.

Because I can’t live without you.

I still believe in you.

I don’t yet understand good and evil can reside within one person.

I choose to mistake evil for anger.

I believe your words.

Even if your actions contradict them.

I’m still trying to figure you out.

I see the best in you.

Even if you confuse me.

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I haven’t been introduced to fear, manipulation, and control even though they lurk between us.

I am too busy making your world go round to see it.

I don’t realize you lack confidence, my handsome charmer projects it.

I am selflessly giving and unaware of selfishness.

I don’t sense your fantasy world because you play well in reality.

I place you on a pedestal so there’s no need to ask for praise.

I understand your ability to get what you want but confuse this with success.

I don’t think of the word empathy.

I don’t realize it’s missing.

I haven’t yet experienced the severe anger of the emotionally abusive bully.

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I know strictly tears.

I have only met two different people residing within one.

My guy, my love, my very best friend.

And a stranger who looks like him.

One who can’t attach himself to me.

I see the contradiction.

I anguish, I lament, I drift between love and abandonment.

I hide the bad in favor of your good.

I suppress my sanity in exchange for your craziness.

I see you but I don’t believe you.

Even though you keep showing me who you are.

I can’t live without you.

Because I still think you can’t live without me.

I won’t give up on you.

I have attached myself to your heart.

I will fight for you not grasping your ability to win.

I will foolishly beg your attention.

I’ll remind you…

I’m your girl, your love, your very best friend.

I will root for you.

I will continue to see the best in you.

I will believe in the impossible.

I will sacrifice all of me, and then some.

Because I love you.

Until I realize you can’t love me back.

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Colleen Sheehy Orme is a National Relationship Columnist, freelance journalist, and former business columnist. She writes about love, relationships, and self-restoration.

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This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.