To The Friend Who Didn't Think I Was Good Enough

Photo: Dima Aslanian / Shutterstock
woman leaning on another woman friendship
Partner
Heartbreak

By Christina Donati

Dear Ex-Best Friend,

I never thought that what I was doing was wrong.

I thought that I was always there for you, that I bent myself backwards to make sure I pleased you.

I’m still not totally over the day you told me I was no longer good enough.

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As someone who prides myself on putting others before me, and taking on other’s feelings as if they were my very own, I never thought that I wouldn’t be considered a good friend.

You hurt me in more ways than you could imagine.

My confidence as a person was tragically in despair, my desire to reach out and talk to people was lost because I didn’t think I would get a response, and, most importantly, I didn’t think I was good enough to make a new best friend to take your place.

After I had some time to think about it, I realized that instead of moping and soaking up the negativity that you brought into my life, that I was gifted with the opportunity to achieve a new level of self-liberation.

After contemplation, I now know that the problems that you said were mine are actually your own, but you needed to blame them on someone else so that it wasn’t ever truly your problem.

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Well, I am no longer that outlet for you to climb up onto your pedestal while I kiss your feet at the bottom.

Your lack of confidence was why I was your biggest asset.

Instead of owning up to your own insecurities, you were able to say that I put you down which made you feel that way, but you are so wrong.

You manipulated me into thinking I was the problem, but it was you all along.

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I know this now because I had time to recover, and I had time to become close to new people who cherish my company more than you ever did.

These new best friends have taken your place, and they remind me constantly why I am a good friend and a good person.

This is how I know you were wrong about me.

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Sure, I made mistakes, as any humans would, but I would never purposely try to make someone who is so important to me try to feel bad, especially not a best friend.

All in all, I am here to thank you, not tell you why you were wrong about what you said to me.

The reason I thank you is because now I am free.

I am free to realize what true friendship is really like, I am free from my uncertainty telling me that I will never be a good enough friend to anyone, and I am free to know that I am a wanted person among many.

By you unlocking the chains that bore me to tread behind your every step, I have become new and confident.

Thank you, the ex-best friend who said I was never good enough because, through you, I have learned how to be better than just good enough for myself and others.

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Christina Donati is a writer whose work has been featured on Thought Catalog, Diply, Narcity, MTL Blog, and Unwritten. For more of her content, visit her author profile on Unwritten.

This article was originally published at Unwritten . Reprinted with permission from the author.