"At first, it seemed like just another chore."
Anyone who has been in a long-term relationship can relate to the “sex slump.” In the beginning, it’s hard to keep your hands off of each other, but as the years go by, having sex becomes something that “you’ll get around to tomorrow.”
Married couples with kids are especially susceptible to a sex drought as most of their day is spent making sure their kids survive to see tomorrow. Between bills, soccer practice, making dinner and preparing school lunches, sex falls very far down on the “to-do” list.
This is exactly what happened to Brittany Gibbons and her husband. While the mother of three was indeed too busy for sex, she started to realize that her excuses weren’t matching up to the real reason that she didn’t want to get frisky.
Dealing with a body that changed after having three kids and coming from a family where intimacy wasn’t really a thing, Gibbons realized that the lack of sex in her relationship was largely due to her own issues. She realized that she wasn’t comfortable with her body, didn’t feel confident in bed and avoided sex by offering up any excuse she could think of.
“It was hot and stressful hiding my body under two comforters and a snowsuit in the dark and instead I ran a diversion play. 'I have cramps. I have too many deadlines. Gigi is too scared to sleep alone — let’s bring her in the bed with us.' Yeah, I used a 4-year-old as the most adorable cock-block ever. You can’t be in sex mode after reading three Fancy Nancy books, you just can’t,” Gibbons said.
Even though her husband, who she admitted being extremely attracted to, told her that she was beautiful all of the time, Gibbons still would hide her naked body from him and feel uncomfortable letting loose in bed. After realizing that the problem was hers to deal with, Gibbons decided to work on herself and work on the intimacy between her and her husband by having sex every day for a year.
She claims that, at first, it seemed like just another chore, but eventually, it became normal and she even started to look forward to that part of the day.
“It got to the end of the day, and as I hunched over the sink washing my face, praying for cold sheets and sleep, I’d realize I still had the whole love-making thing to do, and it was like, awesome, another daily chore,” she said.
Gibbons started to realize that not only was it important to have more sex but for her to be able to enjoy it just as much as her husband. As she became more confident and accepting of her body, Brittany started to like doing the deed a whole lot more.
Realizing that she was in control of how she felt, Brittany started experimenting with other aspects of her self-confidence. She bought new underwear that made her feel beautiful and sexy, even if she was wearing them under sweatpants, and she invested in a few pieces of lingerie, which got both her and her husband excited.
“No wonder I didn’t feel sexy — I had the undergarments of an incontinent nursing home patient! So I went to Cacique and stocked up on 5 for $25 panties. Some were plain and some were lacy and when I wore them they looked so pretty across my hips. I’d even find myself walking from my closet to the bathroom wearing them, a stark contrast to the primal run I did covered in a towel with my Spanx shoved into a ball of clothes in my hands when I thought Andy wasn’t paying attention,” she said.
Brittany also looked deeper into what she preferred sexually and made sure to let her husband know exactly what she wanted. Just this alone was enough to get her fired up about her daily sexcapades.
In the end, Brittany claims that having sex every day did wonders for her marriage. While she doesn’t claim that having sex every day will make all relationships better or infidelity-proof, she does think that it’s worth a try.
All photos: Tribunist
“Having regular sex with my husband isn’t making my marriage divorce-proof or immune to infidelity or angst, but it is helping me feel confident enough in my skin to survive it if it does happen.”
So, if you want to do a little something to improve your relationship as well as your self-confidence, try taking a page out of Brittany’s book. It couldn’t hurt.