You're over it... or are you?
It’s done! The relationship that you had with your now-ex is over and it’s time to move on. You still have feelings for them, and while you may tell everyone that you’re fine and that you see now that the two of you weren’t made for each other, you just can’t let him go.
Well, not entirely. You just can’t bring yourself to completely stop all contact and cut all ties with him.
The truth is that you haven’t come to terms with the separation anxiety you feel when you think of a life completely devoid of his presence.
Who will laugh at your stupid jokes or understand the backstory behind them? Who else can you trust to not judge you and who will appreciate your unique sensibilities?
He may have moved on and you know that you should just wish him well, but without him, there’s a big gaping sinkhole that continues drawing you in. He might not know it but he's still a big part of your life.
You know you shouldn’t but you continue to text him, message him, and sometimes you even call him. It’s a bad habit and unlike smoking, there’s no patch that you can wear to get over needing contact with him.
And following his every move on social media is your right as his ex. You want to feel happy for the good in his life, but honestly, you of have your doubts. How can he have fun and feel true happiness without you? What are the secret messages behind his status updates?
What if at some point you two get back together? You don’t want to waste time catching each other up to date. If you’re still in each other’s lives, even tangentially, then you won’t have to — you can just pick up where you left off. If you let go, it would be like getting together with a stranger and having to start at square one.
You're not somebody who gives their every action a lot of thought, so if you think you need to text him or message him, you do it. If you're in the mood to play some tennis or go for a hike, you'll invite him to come along as you would with any friend.
You don't have the patience to wait for a long cooling off period so if it's decided that the two of you would stay friends, then that status change goes into effect immediately. If he starts talking about someone new and you're not in the mood, you're not going to hold your feelings back and will be blunt and say what's on your mind.
It took everything you had to finally commit to him and now that the relationship is over, it's not going to be easy or quick to get him out of your system. You thought he was the one and you're not very good at admitting being wrong, so it's hard to wrap your head around the fact that it just didn't work out.
There has to be something that could be done so that your relationship could get back on track. Maybe it was just temporary insanity on his part if he left you for someone else and you're prepared to wait as long as necessary for him to come back to you.
The whole breakup was so confusing. Did you break up with him so that you could explore your options and not have to deal with your commitment issues, or was he the one who ended things? Since not much has happened on the romance front since he left or was asked to leave, maybe you should see if he'll give you another chance.
When you're by yourself, you think about everything that went down and how great things were before they weren't. You don't like being alone that much and you know you can get somebody else, but then there's the chance that you'll be in the exact same spot that you're in now.
You can't let your ex go because you already envisioned your life together. He met your family and friends and they adored him. The two of you made plans together and he promised to never hurt you, yet here you are in so much pain.
It would be stupid to put your heart out there only to have it broken all over again. It would hurt much less if the two of you could get back together. He must feel terrible knowing the kind of pain you're in and you're sure he wants to make things right.
You tell anyone who will listen that you're completely over your ex. You've gone on dates and met some very nice people. You updated Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and you've let the world know you couldn't be happier now that he's gone.
But the truth is all this ex talk and how fabulously you're doing is just a front. You're hoping he'll hear that you're doing great and will want to be a part of your spectacular life. Is it less than honest? Yes, but if it makes him re-think the breakup, then it's worth it. You may be surrounded by people most of the time but that doesn't mean you don't get lonely and miss your ex.
You'd be perfectly happy to move on if you had some closure, but your ex refuses to give it to you. They've never given you a good explanation for what happened and they refuse to give you a reason for not working on the relationship.
If something is broken, you're sure you can fix it and that includes relationships. You can't move on without tying up some loose ends at the very least. If he didn't handle things right, then you're prepared to hold out for an apology.
Honestly, you don't like being alone that much and you love being in love. You can't help but look back on the life you and your ex shared together and think how amazing it was and how it wouldn't be that difficult to recapture it again.
You're slowly getting back into the dating scene, but you'd gladly give it up if your ex wanted to try again. Of course, if you found yourself with a bunch of possible partners, that wouldn't be a bad thing.
On the outside, you seem cool and collected, but inside there's a volcano of emotions waiting to erupt. You hate that you feel for someone only to have them turn their back on you. It takes you a long time to get over someone and the healing process can't even begin until you deal with your anger, sadness, and pain.
But in your mind, the worst thing would be if people felt sorry for you for that would make you feel out-of-control and like a victim. And while this may sound dramatic, the more you ignore your feelings, the higher the chances are that they'll overwhelm and consume you.
Actually, you're the master of change and letting go, so it isn't that you're sitting around pining for your ex, it's the opposite — you're a little too good at letting go. If your relationship starts to bring you down or make you feel confined in any way, you'll start to make plans regarding how you can extract yourself from the situation.
You're not that patient and you'd rather say "bye, bye" and move on. You'll remember them and the places you went and the fun things you did together fondly, but you're not one to dwell on the past.
You hide the fact that you still have hopes of getting back together with your ex very well. You throw yourself into your work (more than usual) and force yourself to keep moving forward. What most people don't know is that while it may appear that you're doing okay without your ex, you're still planning a future with them in it.
You already had a plan in place when you met them and you adapted it to include them. It's really hard for you to just let those dreams you had go, so you wait until they realize that they really don't have a future without you.
You're not that comfortable expressing your emotions and you're annoyed that your ex is making you feel things you don't want to feel. You're independent and you know you can have an amazing life without them, but you're wondering if maybe you didn't let your ex in on your life enough.
You had no trouble doing things on your own and maybe that was the problem: you seemed to not need or care about your ex at all. You have a small regret that you didn't do things differently and are open to a reconciliation.
You can't let go because you've been down this road before and you've always given your ex a second, third, and even a fourth chance. You believe that people can change and do better, but sometimes your confidence that things will be different are misplaced and you get taken advantage of.
You need to look at your ex for who they really are, not as the fantasy you have of them. Sometimes it's best for everyone if there's a clean break and a relationship is truly over and done with. It doesn't make you a bad person to not let someone back into your life who has hurt you or will hurt you.